” What are you thinking right now?”
He asked me from across the table.
You see, I have been cursed with a face that shows thoughts bubbling in my head and the eyes of someone who knows more than what she says. And this provokes responses like this one.
I do not mean to be secretive or secluded from societies curiosity into my world.
Much more selective in my choosing, than the ones who simple say what ever comes to mind. I don’t think bad thoughts of others, nor do I think the very good….I’m simply looking through with my own trained eye. My own observations in actions, their eye’s story telling ways, the truth behind the nose and smile.
You see I was cursed with an expression within my brown golden eyes, it whispers to the other,
“I am thinking of something that I will not speak of. “
And this is not because I want them to remain puzzled or perplexed or even ruffled in their self-examined seats.
I want to make people feel relaxed in my presence so I can get a feel of their soul,
but my damned physicality remains without question, most definitely showing that,
“I am thinking something I cannot predict nor say in ways that will make the other happy.”
And now that I have had some practice in reverting the scene back to something more serene, to combat their worries and wonders, I replace amusement in something that is so devastating to myself I cannot find the words to express how I’m feeling or what I am truly thinking.
“Pineapple pieces placed in playful paper cups, have you tried it yet? It’s my favorite”
And the laughter hides behind the sadness that they can no longer see,
through the humor I choose to display,
with a hint of truth thrown in for good measure.